Kids and profanity
And that “kick’ in there – well, let’s just say I thought it was another _ick word until I looked up the lyrics on line. I think that might be, shall we say, a charitable interpretation of the lyric.
My 8yo knows most swear words too. (Yes, even “the most foul of foul words.“) I really don’t see a problem with children knowing about profanity, as such. Frankly, the song lyrics sail right over their heads, and now that the older one is finally twigging to the subtext of 80% of pop radio, she’s rejecting the racier stuff on her own. Here’s a recent conversation we had when Pitbull’s Give Me Everything came on:
Chloe: I don’t like this song, can you change it?
Me: Sure, why don’t you like it?
Chloe: Because I know what he means when he says “Give me everything.”
Me: OK, but you realize most of the songs on the radio are about sex in some way, right?
Chloe: Yeah, I just don’t like that one.
She also knows it’s not appropriate for her to sing half of Last Friday Night and all of S&M, though she hasn’t asked for details about why exactly. So I suppose that’s where my line is as far as bawdy songs and my children: OK to listen, not OK to sing. And I will explain why they’re not OK to sing, if asked, but I try not to get more detailed than they’re interested in. For now, “That’s an adult thing and not appropriate for children to sing” is all they want to know.
As far as the swearing thing – I explain the words as they come up, and once Chloe was mature enough to censor herself by situation, I told her she could say them. On rare occasions she’ll say “damn it” or something at home, but has been very good about not cursing in front of friends or at school. And really, that skill is what all kids eventually learn. A 13yo is most likely not abstaining from swearing, even if his parents have forbidden it and never hear anything stronger than “crud” pass his lips – he’s just learned not to swear in front of his parents, as well as teachers, church leaders, etc.
The 3yo, on the other hand has no censoring skills yet, so if she busts out with a profanity, I inform her that it’s a rude word, and she shouldn’t say it. Of course I also censor myself more around her, because they are like little recording machines, and no matter how much you discourage it, if you say “Damn it!” every time you drop something, your preschooler will do it too, as I learned the first time around! (And god damn, is it adorable to hear a 2yo say “damn it” in that perfect annoyed intonation, so you have to stifle your laughter while delivering a stern lesson about appropriate language.)
Sometimes the song lyrics do give me pause, and I wonder if it’s OK to let my kids listen to the pop station, even the one that censors out Nicki Minaj saying the euphemistic “eff.” But then I remember that I grew up listening to top 40, and singing along with such hits as Afternoon Delight with all the blithe naivete of a Bluth at a Christmas party. I was OK, and my kids will be too.